Rita Skeeter Interviews Queen Ororo Munroe
by Valeria Kementari
Summary: In an exclusive interview Rita Skeeter gets the full information as to how and why Ororo Munroe married the Black Panther


As I walked into the Royal Palace a soft smell of sandalwood invaded my senses. With each step my goosebumps increased and I could barely stop my fingers from fidgeting. I tried to gasp for air as the inevitable revelation was coming. For the first time since she married King T'Challa, the former adventure seeking mutant and now Queen of Wakanda opened her doors for your humble reporter, and the small preview her assistant slipped when arranging the interview was enough to curl even the grasiest of hairs. I found her eating grapes and sitting on a couch, surrounded by several young men and women, who were odd reflections of several known mutants, doppelgangers or shapeshifters perhaps.

She smiled and beckoned me to sit in front of her, while she waved her hand, dismissing the gathered companions, leaving us alone, and to my surprise it was her who opened the mouth first.

_"I welcome you to my humble home, I hope you find your stay in Wakanda to be a joyous one,"_ she said, oozing majesty with every word and slow smooth movement.

_"Thank you your highness, I have been, as you might be aware, summoned here to report the breaking news your assistant said you were most eager to share with the world."_ She smiled, as if measuring her words with care but almost instantly she replied.

_"Of course, but that can wait, surely there might be several things that you might want to know as well, so..."_ she made a small pause to lay back on her cushioned couch and smiled again, _"... fire away."_

It was me who couldn't resist to grin as my Quick-Quotes quill bursted to life and began scribbling furiously on the paper, my green eyes were fixed on hers and I fired the first shot.

"When was the first time you met T'Challa, he who would grow to become your beloved husband."

The Queen repressed a small smile and then instantly replied, her eyes sparkling with ghosts of the past like vampires under the sun. _"Beloved is a word I would not like to use, the... chronicler used to put that words in my lips when I never used it in the first place. I am certain you are aware that the chronicles put forth every month have a certain... creative license. Not everything you read on those chronicles is accurate. But I digress. I met T'Challa when I was but a child, an eleven year old child that was seduced by an older boy of seventeen. I met him when I saved his life from a pack of furtive hunters, he was about to be executed... if I had the power of prescience instead of weather manipulation I would not have bothered. After rescuing me he... deceived me into making love with him, and then left me on the harsh desert."_

_"Basically you're telling me he committed statutory rape," _I added, grabbing the my Quick-Quotes Quill and writing as fast as I could, my eyes suddenly mesmerized by the words I was writing.

_"I cannot say those words, it is still painful,"_ added the queen, looking sideways.

_"And it was years before you saw him again, was it?"_

"Yes. In fact, we had an encounter that was never chronicled, soon after I joined the X-Men, he came to visit me in the middle of night one might say. In truth he was stalking my window, gazing as I indulged myself in summer showers in my attic."

_"So he stalked you during your youthful days?"_

"Several times, luckily for me my best friend was able to find out about it, she happens to be a telepath and managed to pierce the luscious thoughts he normally had while doing this heinous deed."

_"Could it be he was... pleasuring himself while doing so?" _

_"It would not be strange to think so. In any case, Jean spotted his mind and warned me, and I was able to deter any further intrusions with a well-placed lightning bolt,"_ she explained with a clear smile and proud stance.

_"How well placed?" _

_"Have you ever seen him actually sitting on his throne? Now you know why,"_ and we shared a laugh for a while.

"There were several romantic interests for you before you decided to marry T'Challa? Can you give me a brief recap on the most important ones you remember most fondly?"

_"There were so many I can barely remember them all!"_ replied the queen, raising her arms and rolling her eyes slightly. _"Let's see. There was, of course, Victor, though he made sure only the faintest dalliance was chronicled properly. Then came Forge, the cretin who I had to stab to make him pay attention to me. Imagine my boredom trapped in an alternate reality with him for an entire year! I just dumped him two weeks into that dimension and decided to roam the world alone, it was much better than having him next to me all day. Then there was Lucas, he tried several times to make me like him, but I could sense there was something wrong with him, I don't know why but he just screamed 'lunatic' every time I looked into his eyes. And besides he kept saying the rudest things like 'I want to absorb all of you and rechannel you all day'. He even said things like that while we were saving the world imagine that!"_ She was clearly enjoying this, I could see it as plainly as day. I had to, of course, ask the awkward question.

_"During the time you decided to... change your looks... there were rumors flying left and right about you and..."_

_"Yukio, I knew you'd ask that,"_ said the Queen, and as she spoke the sun suddenly seemed brighter as its light peered through the window. _"I was... experimenting with myself back then, I was certainly open to new experiences."_

There was an odd silence then and I did not want to press the subject anymore, the answer was quite clear. After the silence, the Queen continued.

_"I cannot fail to mention my brief relationship with Nathan, the man known to some as Cable. Yes, I did change his diapers once, but when I saw him next he was even older than I was! Sure, it had been what, two, three years since I changed his diaper? But when we started dating he was almost fifty, and every girl has to have an affair with an older man once in her lifetime, so I 'flowed like the wind' with him. Of course we had to break it off once we received a visit from an offspring we had from a possible future reality that was bent on world domination. When I realized I would have a Summers offpring I just decided to make it simple and cut the relationship right then and there."_

_"Future offspring with Nathaniel Summers? I fail to remember this..."_ I asked, searching my notes as I spoke.

_"Another unchronicled event, you might be surprised how many of those happen in our lives, and how many are purposely kept shushed to maintain appearances. And some are simply neglected by the chroniclers, like I said before, they have 'creative license' to tell our tales,"_ the Queen added, relaxing once more. I realized it was finally time to get into the point of the interview and I slowly tried to press it, modulating my voice and almost whispering the words.

_"And then you returned back to the man that started it all right?" _

_"More or less so, yes. I went back to him. Well I was growing bored with lunatic Bishop's constant advances and after having a strong... experimenting period while in Tokyo, I knew I had to do something. I had a glimpse of royal pleasure while I was champion of the arena, and while doing so I wondered how will it be to be a true Queen, so I began studying every plausible scenario for me to rise to power without having to actually go ahead and conquer a country. The devastation my powers could cause would be too great and I didn't want to spend most of my reign healing what I destroyed. So, while I began mapping out my future plans I half-heartedly helmed the X-Men assigned to me into a force to be reckoned with, until the opportunity arose. When I heard T'Challa was having problems with the neighboring country of Niganda I knew I had the opportunity of a lifetime. I took a team of X-Men that didn't really know how to work with each other, unlike the teams I always had, I might add, and went to his rescue. Once more I rescued his life and once more he became obsessed with me. It wasn't long before he was on one knee and asking for my hand."_

_"So basically you knew he was going to ask you?"_

"Of course! He was always so easy to manipulate bless his soul, poor little King. I knew that with just one kiss and then just ignoring him for a couple of days would have him stalking me and asking me to marry him, and of course he did. And now you have me here, as Queen of Wakanda, which is, of course only the beginning, I plan to rule all of Africa soon."

_"May I ask why you decided to share this eventful news with the press?" _

"Oh well, it's part of the deal. You see this demon-lord, Mephisto I believe he is known on some levels, came to me the other day and said he wanted to make a deal. He has a knack for ending up marriages I'm sure you've heard. Well I cannot fully disclose what the deal was, but it was pretty interesting and I of course accepted and revealing this to the press is merely the beginning of the deal."

_"But you always seemed so happy around your husband, you truly seem made for each other,"_ I asked, shivering still from the news.

_"Creative License again. You really think I am made for a man that not only made me have sex with him when I was but a child, stalked me for years and even keeps a harem of barely dressed floozies around him after we married? No, my child, he is simply not good enough for me, as one of the chroniclers of my past adventures used to say, and let me use his own words, '__there is no one really in the Marvel Universe who's good enough for her, that is her equal'__. Pity he is now so senile he can't even remember what he chronicled."_

_"I see, is this harem a sour spot in your relationship?" _

_"It could be, if it weren't for my weekend-long trips to the Savage Land,"_ added the Queen while smiling. _"The air in that zone is just... rejuvenating."_

_"Rejuvenating? IS there a special herb in the Savage Land I am unaware of?" _

_"I wouldn't call him an herb actually, but yes, there is something special for me down south,"_ replied the Queen with glee. After a few minutes of silence, where I could clearly see her reminiscing while she gazed outside the window I decided to press the subject a little more and see if I could get some more inside intel.

_"Can you give us more information on this deal with Mephisto?" _

"Well a lot of it has to do with my heritage, as you are aware I am the descendant of a long unbroken line of sorceresses, in fact the first Sorceress Supreme was one of my ancestors. He offered me to erase the marriage and then that heritage will allow me to... well you will all see once it's done, I trust the chroniclers to tell the entire story, it's just too juicy to pass."

_"I must say I am still surprised to hear this from your lips, your majesty. I find myself, for the first time in many years, without further questions,"_ I said surprised, slumping back onto my chair. Queen Ororo smiled, pleased and she stood up, waving her hands and her companions appeared once more, carrying several trays of exotic foods and drinks. It wasn't long before I shared laughs and dinner with them, and learned quite a few things I will not disclose, well maybe on my next column.


End file.
